Salt Lake City, UT

Salt Lake City is the cleanest city I've ever been in. No trash, no cigarette butts, no graffiti, no peeling paint, no dead plants. It looks brand new, as if it were some weird subdivision just built. And it's more evidence that Utah is the Land of Opposites; the Mormons are all shiny and happy and neat, and everyone that isn't a Mormon has neck tattoos and facial piercings. Apparently either you're a Mormon, or you're really not.

The Temple, of course, is Mormon ground central. I didn't storm the castle, but several overly friendly Mormons tried to convert me. All the shiny, happy people in their shiny, happy city freak me out. As a New Yorker, I require a little dirt and freakiness in my cities. Fortunately, T found a bar full of anti-Mormons. It was set in an old trolley, just outside a mall, and served only beer. In any other city, it would never have been acceptable, but in SLC it was actually pretty cool. We hung out with some very chill people (with neck tattoos), drank good beer, and managed to scam the hot bartender out of a souvenir mug. Who knew SLC had something approximately a cool nightlife?