For the past couple of weeks, I've been trying to clean up the household finances. You know, all that grown-up stuff you have to do when you get married: plan a budget. Make a will. Get life insurance. Et cetera. It's proving more difficult than I thought it would be, for various reasons--and most of these reasons are outside my purview, meaning I get to spend a lot of time beating my head against the wall, wondering why the universe keeps throwing up so many stumbling blocks. All these years I thought I was the fiscally irresponsible one--I didn't have kids, or a mortgage, or a car, I had a lot of credit card and student loan debt, I had a fetish for international travel and expensive shoes. Turns out I'm a lot more financially savvy than I thought (debt load aside). I'm hoping that once the combining process is finally complete, then it will just be a matter of maintaining the whole thing--that I won't have to spend every month, in perpetuity, beating my head against the wall.
The first priority, of course, is paying off the debt. I think I'm going to get a second job, waiting tables or something, to help expedite that. If my new stepson is going to live with us, we need a bigger apartment and a second car, and right now we can't afford either one.
The good news is that a dry run of my taxes will yield enough of a return to pay back all the money I owe the IRS. So that's one debt crossed off the list. I guess that's the good part of not making any money--you don't owe any to the government!
Lots of weird dreams last night. I dreamed Pockets was coming after me with a knife, and then I dreamed another close friend of mine was dead, and then the old I'm-being-forced-to-go-back-to-high-school recurring nightmare cropped up. Good times.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
I have a job!
That is, a permanent one! My temp job was officially made perm today--the financial firm I've been working for is finally extending an offer. Pro: they're offering more money than I'm currently making as a temp. Plus benefits. Con: that amount is more than $20K less than what I was making in New York, in essentially the exact same position. More con: I could make that NY amount in LA or San Francisco. San Diego's labor force seems to be retardedly underpriced.
But there's not really anything I can do about it--the high-priced jobs don't really exist here and the salary offer they made was firm (non-negotiable; and yes, I asked). So I'm taking it, and breathing a sigh of relief. Now I can go to the dentist, start my 401k back up, and not have to worry about my paycheck disappearing.
(Well, sort of. If this past year has taught me anything, it's that you can't assume anything. So I find it helpful to assume two completely contradictory things at once, i.e., I will have this job for the next year, and, I could lose my job tomorrow. But hopefully not.)
But there's not really anything I can do about it--the high-priced jobs don't really exist here and the salary offer they made was firm (non-negotiable; and yes, I asked). So I'm taking it, and breathing a sigh of relief. Now I can go to the dentist, start my 401k back up, and not have to worry about my paycheck disappearing.
(Well, sort of. If this past year has taught me anything, it's that you can't assume anything. So I find it helpful to assume two completely contradictory things at once, i.e., I will have this job for the next year, and, I could lose my job tomorrow. But hopefully not.)
Friday, January 29, 2010
Addendum to Deep Thoughts on a Friday
Oh, and my aunt's in Haiti. She's a nurse. Currently fixing broken people. So there's that to think/pray/worry about, too.
My aunt and uncle go to Haiti every year on a mission trip, so she knows the country well and is able to travel around with people she already knows. Fortunately her updates are regular and the country is not the seething cesspool of violence CNN makes it out to be. Most people are helpful and courteous and do not fight each other while waiting in line for clean water. But there is too little food, clean water and medical attention to go around. The water runs grey with filth and the air is thick with the smell of rotting bodies. Wounds are beginning to fester because they've been untended for so long. I hope she's able to fix some people, and get home safely. And I think I'm going to go update my earthquake insurance.
My aunt and uncle go to Haiti every year on a mission trip, so she knows the country well and is able to travel around with people she already knows. Fortunately her updates are regular and the country is not the seething cesspool of violence CNN makes it out to be. Most people are helpful and courteous and do not fight each other while waiting in line for clean water. But there is too little food, clean water and medical attention to go around. The water runs grey with filth and the air is thick with the smell of rotting bodies. Wounds are beginning to fester because they've been untended for so long. I hope she's able to fix some people, and get home safely. And I think I'm going to go update my earthquake insurance.
Deep thoughts on a Friday
A very dear friend of mine has a two-year-old who's just had a brain tumor removed. They're waiting for biopsy results. I'm praying to every god I can think of.
Which makes me want to be all responsible and stuff and file a will and an advanced health care directive. Which makes me think I should get a life insurance policy, and maybe some supplemental long term care insurance, and I really hope nothing happens to me between now and the wedding because I still have no health insurance. And I really, really hope my soon-to-be-stepson will learn how to enjoy food that doesn't come out of a fast-food wrapper so that he can avoid overuse of said health insurance.
This thing with Pockets, and now this cancer scare, makes me want to round up all the people I care about and give them a really big, long hug.
Which makes me want to be all responsible and stuff and file a will and an advanced health care directive. Which makes me think I should get a life insurance policy, and maybe some supplemental long term care insurance, and I really hope nothing happens to me between now and the wedding because I still have no health insurance. And I really, really hope my soon-to-be-stepson will learn how to enjoy food that doesn't come out of a fast-food wrapper so that he can avoid overuse of said health insurance.
This thing with Pockets, and now this cancer scare, makes me want to round up all the people I care about and give them a really big, long hug.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Pockets update
I sent a wedding invitation to Pockets, with a note. In it, I asked her forgiveness. I told her I missed her, that I couldn’t imagine my wedding day without her, that I hoped she wouldn’t sacrifice thirty years of friendship over this.
Her Facebook status later proclaimed me to be "selfish," "without respect or boundaries," and "stupid."
So, lessons learned. I don't think I can say or do anything else at this point to win her back. Maybe I just have to chalk this up as the cosmic price I have to pay for love and happiness. Maybe my mother was right about her all along. Maybe I should have listened to my brother all those years ago when she blew up on him in a similar fashion. Well, anyway. Net loss: one best friend. Net gain: a husband, a son, and some pretty super rockin' in-laws. There's no real contest, of course. But. Damn. I miss her.
Her Facebook status later proclaimed me to be "selfish," "without respect or boundaries," and "stupid."
So, lessons learned. I don't think I can say or do anything else at this point to win her back. Maybe I just have to chalk this up as the cosmic price I have to pay for love and happiness. Maybe my mother was right about her all along. Maybe I should have listened to my brother all those years ago when she blew up on him in a similar fashion. Well, anyway. Net loss: one best friend. Net gain: a husband, a son, and some pretty super rockin' in-laws. There's no real contest, of course. But. Damn. I miss her.
Back to the shoes
I've officially contracted my friend Kirsten Boehmer to do the photography at the wedding. I'm really excited! Look for her patented Party Booth there. Oh, yes.
I sent the invitations and I'm starting to get a trickle of RSVPs. I also tried--I really, really did--to find a more affordable shoe alternative. I bought them and returned them in a fit of fiscal responsibility, spent days trolling the internet for something else that I liked as much, and finally gave up. Seeing as how I may get to be a full-time (step)mommy later this year, this will officially be my last extravagent shoe purchase and my goodbye to my freewheeling and well-shod single life. I plan to get a portrait of just the shoes. Take note, Kirsten.
I sent the invitations and I'm starting to get a trickle of RSVPs. I also tried--I really, really did--to find a more affordable shoe alternative. I bought them and returned them in a fit of fiscal responsibility, spent days trolling the internet for something else that I liked as much, and finally gave up. Seeing as how I may get to be a full-time (step)mommy later this year, this will officially be my last extravagent shoe purchase and my goodbye to my freewheeling and well-shod single life. I plan to get a portrait of just the shoes. Take note, Kirsten.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Theatre review: Whisper House, or, A Critic Goes Bicoastal
Almost five months ago, I moved myself from New York to San Diego. During my decade in New York, I saw (and reviewed) thousands of plays. In my heyday I was reviewing three or four plays a week, and that’s not counting the ones I saw that I wasn’t reviewing. Since moving to San Diego, I’ve seen one--Noah Haidle’s Saturn Returns at South Coast Rep in Costa Mesa.
Last night I went to my first play in San Diego; Duncan Sheik’s Whisper House at the Old Globe. Yes, that Duncan Sheik, of Spring Awakening fame. It was disconcerting to say the least, watching off-Broadway theatre so far off-Broadway.
In New York, I saw all manner of plays and playhouses. I saw shows on Broadway and at BAM, packed to the gills; I sat in leaky basements in the East Village where I was one of three audience members. I’ve seen plays in cars (yes, in cars), in churches, in the subway, in apartments, in parks, in the street, and in innumerable basements. More often than not, I was watching theatre in a repurposed space--I saw plays in an actual theatre maybe 35% of the time. I’ve sat on folding chairs, backless benches, church pews, boxes, floor mats, and the grass. Comfortable seating was a luxury, as was a coat check. Occasionally there was a folding table set up where I could purchase $6 beer or box wine.
Now, I didn’t always live in New York. I’ve seen plenty of community and regional theatre, so it’s not like the concept of free parking at the theatre is completely unheard-of. But it is very unfamiliar. The Old Globe has free parking. Lots of it. And a valet. More importantly, I drove to the theatre; no subway required. (I’ve missed plays because of subway delays and snafus. No worrying about that here!) The Old Globe also has a year-round outdoor pub. Let me just restate that--year-round. Outdoors. Their theatres have cushy seats, and wide aisles. My knees didn’t automatically hit the back of the seat in front of me for the first time in--well, nearly a decade. Best of all, I didn’t have to swing back out into the aisle and perform a couple of advanced yoga moves in order to cross my legs.
The last play I saw in New York was Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson, at the Public, an incredibly subversive and hilarious musical. The theatre (the Public’s black box space) was about the size of three corner offices. Not one audience member was over 40, and there couldn’t have been seating for more than 50 people, tops. The play started at 10 PM. I sat in a folding chair, with my coat on my lap. I took the subway there, and back again to Brooklyn. If I remember correctly, it was about 45 degrees outside.
Fast forward several months to San Diego. Whisper House is also a subversive musical, by a guy who made his name in New York. The Old Globe was enormous, and beautiful, and seated 600. I drove there, and parked for free. It was 70 degrees outside; despite that, there was a coat check. My seat had a cushion, and ample leg room. Granted, when I saw Spring Awakening on Broadway, the weather was lovely and I had a coat check and a cushy seat then, too. Duncan Sheik plays well on both coasts, it seems. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
It helped that I was viewing a familiar name; musicals have never been my forte, but Spring Awakening is one of the few that I actually like. Duncan Sheik is becoming a force to be reckoned with, I think; while this show is stylistically very different from Spring Awakening, Sheik still shows his characteristic musical insouciance.
While fellow reviewer Evan Henerson wasn’t thrilled with Whisper House, (see his review here) I thought it was perfect for my own personal reentry into the theatre world. I agree with much of his review--the book was pretty thin--but atmospherically, I felt the evening was exceptional. The play’s soundtrack was very nearly a cross between The Killers and a moody James Bond theme song; the lighting and fog usage were eerie and mournful without being overwrought; the acting was excellent; the set was architecturally interesting; and the audience was happily mixed, both old and young alike. And the piece was, for good or ill, recognizably Duncan Sheik.
Last night I went to my first play in San Diego; Duncan Sheik’s Whisper House at the Old Globe. Yes, that Duncan Sheik, of Spring Awakening fame. It was disconcerting to say the least, watching off-Broadway theatre so far off-Broadway.
In New York, I saw all manner of plays and playhouses. I saw shows on Broadway and at BAM, packed to the gills; I sat in leaky basements in the East Village where I was one of three audience members. I’ve seen plays in cars (yes, in cars), in churches, in the subway, in apartments, in parks, in the street, and in innumerable basements. More often than not, I was watching theatre in a repurposed space--I saw plays in an actual theatre maybe 35% of the time. I’ve sat on folding chairs, backless benches, church pews, boxes, floor mats, and the grass. Comfortable seating was a luxury, as was a coat check. Occasionally there was a folding table set up where I could purchase $6 beer or box wine.
Now, I didn’t always live in New York. I’ve seen plenty of community and regional theatre, so it’s not like the concept of free parking at the theatre is completely unheard-of. But it is very unfamiliar. The Old Globe has free parking. Lots of it. And a valet. More importantly, I drove to the theatre; no subway required. (I’ve missed plays because of subway delays and snafus. No worrying about that here!) The Old Globe also has a year-round outdoor pub. Let me just restate that--year-round. Outdoors. Their theatres have cushy seats, and wide aisles. My knees didn’t automatically hit the back of the seat in front of me for the first time in--well, nearly a decade. Best of all, I didn’t have to swing back out into the aisle and perform a couple of advanced yoga moves in order to cross my legs.
The last play I saw in New York was Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson, at the Public, an incredibly subversive and hilarious musical. The theatre (the Public’s black box space) was about the size of three corner offices. Not one audience member was over 40, and there couldn’t have been seating for more than 50 people, tops. The play started at 10 PM. I sat in a folding chair, with my coat on my lap. I took the subway there, and back again to Brooklyn. If I remember correctly, it was about 45 degrees outside.
Fast forward several months to San Diego. Whisper House is also a subversive musical, by a guy who made his name in New York. The Old Globe was enormous, and beautiful, and seated 600. I drove there, and parked for free. It was 70 degrees outside; despite that, there was a coat check. My seat had a cushion, and ample leg room. Granted, when I saw Spring Awakening on Broadway, the weather was lovely and I had a coat check and a cushy seat then, too. Duncan Sheik plays well on both coasts, it seems. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
It helped that I was viewing a familiar name; musicals have never been my forte, but Spring Awakening is one of the few that I actually like. Duncan Sheik is becoming a force to be reckoned with, I think; while this show is stylistically very different from Spring Awakening, Sheik still shows his characteristic musical insouciance.
While fellow reviewer Evan Henerson wasn’t thrilled with Whisper House, (see his review here) I thought it was perfect for my own personal reentry into the theatre world. I agree with much of his review--the book was pretty thin--but atmospherically, I felt the evening was exceptional. The play’s soundtrack was very nearly a cross between The Killers and a moody James Bond theme song; the lighting and fog usage were eerie and mournful without being overwrought; the acting was excellent; the set was architecturally interesting; and the audience was happily mixed, both old and young alike. And the piece was, for good or ill, recognizably Duncan Sheik.
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