More things you gotta do before getting married

1. Read every book you can find about marriage, joint finances, and childrearing. Start to freak out about all the things you don't know about childrearing. Then read The Liars' Club and The Glass Castle and realize nothing you could do would ever be that bad. Continue freaking out a little anyway.
2. Budgeting is so much easier with two paychecks! But wait. There are two sets of debt.
3. Call every friend you have with kids to find out how long it took them to get pregnant after going off the pill.
4. While you're at it, inquire delicately as to the state of their marriages, and what words of wisdom can be passed along. Attempt to mentally collate all this.
5. Amend escape fantasy from "selling everything and moving to Costa Rica to work in a bar on the beach somewhere" to "selling everything and moving to Costa Rica with both extended families to start a joint family compound near the beach somewhere, and raise chickens."
6. Realize that, forever after, a happening Saturday night will consist of dinner, a video and possibly a board game. The words "booty text," "2-for-1 shots," and "Joel Robuchon's new restaurant" will now be eliminated from your Saturday night vocabulary. Likewise, "I think I slept with that bartender once," "Can we get a cab in this neighborhood at 4:30 am?" and "Zombie bowl for four please. With extra fire." Happily stock up on board games.
7. Call your sister repeatedly to be assured that, yes, all men would rather play video games than do housework, that all men are incapable of seeing dirt or the trail of clothing they leave behind them when getting home from work, that no man will ever bound out of bed on Sunday morning saying, "Gosh! So many things to do today!" Realize that you are actually okay with this.
8. Send up repeated prayers of thanks that you are marrying THIS man, and not any of your ex-boyfriends. Briefly contemplate married life with each of them, then go wash. Repeatedly.
9. Likewise, wake up one night and think, "All this time I thought it was the institution of marriage that scared the crap out of me. When really, it was just Brant!"
10. Realize that you no longer care about updating your wardrobe, because life insurance payments now take precedence. Attempt to talk yourself into a new bathing suit, then sit back and watch as your rational brain--for the first time ever--convinces you that a bigger emergency fund is more important.
11. Take your engagement ring off to knead dough/apply lotion/paint, then feel guilty about it.
12. Try to envision changing your name. Then try to get an appointment at the DMV for anytime in the next six months. Table that discussion.
13. Wake up every morning and remember how lucky you are. Look at his dad and hope he's just like that in his old age. Watch him playing with the cats and discover your long-buried maternal instinct. Hold hands quietly as you walk to work with him every day. Think about how you cannot wait to really be married to this man.